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ExcaliburBlade
Excalibur Summer-Blade
Canada
"You may call it madness but I call it creative genius"

I haven't been in the arts for a while and won't dare call myself an artist by any form but I am a person who would like to be. I am teaching myself photography, rediscovering writing and finding the joys of simply drawings. I hope in time my skills will improve to the point where I can call myself an artist but for now I am simply a student that wants to learn.
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            One of the greatest barriers we impose on ourselves is judging our own success on the perspective of someone else.  Some of the time those barriers are based on others successes or what other think of our achievements and I think that is a disservice to our own growth as well as our own accomplishments.  I know I have been guilty of this more than a few times during my own life and I am sure others have been guilty in similar ways.  For the longest time I judge my professional success based one the achieves of others and not my own.  I kept thinking after so many years I should be making as much as others people with the same experience as I do.  I saw other people promoted through the ranks or already became a designer in their discipline.  This only resulted in me becoming dissatisfied with my career choices and regretting some career decisions, I made in the last few year.  On reflections, I see this same pattern happen to my creative work and still happening in my professional life.

            We judge our own accomplishment based on another persons accomplishments.  I am not successful in my job because this person has a better job or make more money than I do.  I am not as good of an artist as this person is and so on.  Such patterns of thinking only help create barriers around us preventing us from moving forward with our lives whither they be professional or creative. Such ways of thinking only creates unsurmountable obstacles to overcome that only serves to crush our own drives and confidence in ourselves.  The reality is there will always be people that may appear more successful than you or more talented but if you take a closer look at them you’ll notice something important. 

            Success doesn’t mean making the most money or having the best toys out there.  In the end those are just material items that can make life easier but necessarily more enjoyable.  The deciding reason to whither you are successful or not is whither your happy with your life or not.  Are you happy with the progression you’ve personally made with your career?  Are you happy with your artistic creation?  Were you able to produce what you originally had in mind?  How should I progress to the next level?  These are the questions you should be asking when you wish to judge your level of successfulness.  You should not compare yourself to anyone else but yourself.  Don’t let other people bully you into accepting their views of success or how to gauge your self-worth.

            I’ve done that myself in the past and each time I allowed someone else to accept their views of how my own life was going I regretted it.  Usually it resulted in great life upheavals that I still struggle with to this day.  So what if society views living with your parents as an adult as negative characteristic; doing so allowed me to pay off my student loans and return to school part-time to gain my Bachelors.  I’m not the greatest photographer in the world but I can say with full honesty that I am a better photographer than I was when I started.  So what if my career is not progressing how I would like it; may be it's time to shift my career focus or change careers altogether.  Because of the last two years, I have been able to reflect on what I want to do with my life and explore new alternatives.  I haven’t fully left my original career behind but I am now open to other possibilities on what to do with my life.

            Even time I try to compare myself to those around me all it causes me to do is fall into a deep depression and linger on the choices I’ve made in the path.  Such ways of thinking doesn’t help one move forward with one’s own life but causes them to live in the past and only with regret.  My father has told me more than once that I can only take one day at a time. Only recently have I come to understand that what he meant by that.  I can’t live my life as other think I would.  If I did it would be empty and empty of any meaning.  I can’t control everything that happens but I can control how I view life as a whole.  From now I want to take every event in my life as a chance to learn and grow.  My life is my own and I have to live it in a fashion that makes me happy.  If I kept allowing other people to dictate how I should be living my life than it wouldn’t be my own life but a shadow of someone else’s.  No one should live in anyone’s shadow. 

            Don’t allow other people’s perspective’s on your life decide how you live your live. Judge your successes based on your own defined milestone.  Progress with your life the way your  most comfortable with and enjoy it.  The time is a finite and something that should be consider the most valuable commodity we have.  Shouldn’t we spend the time we have on something we enjoy and make us happy than on something that only satisfies someone else need or wants?

  • Listening to: Audio Book
  • Reading: Enter Player One
  • Watching: Netflix
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: To much grease
  • Drinking: Water, and Coffee

Journal History

Activity


            One of the greatest barriers we impose on ourselves is judging our own success on the perspective of someone else.  Some of the time those barriers are based on others successes or what other think of our achievements and I think that is a disservice to our own growth as well as our own accomplishments.  I know I have been guilty of this more than a few times during my own life and I am sure others have been guilty in similar ways.  For the longest time I judge my professional success based one the achieves of others and not my own.  I kept thinking after so many years I should be making as much as others people with the same experience as I do.  I saw other people promoted through the ranks or already became a designer in their discipline.  This only resulted in me becoming dissatisfied with my career choices and regretting some career decisions, I made in the last few year.  On reflections, I see this same pattern happen to my creative work and still happening in my professional life.

            We judge our own accomplishment based on another persons accomplishments.  I am not successful in my job because this person has a better job or make more money than I do.  I am not as good of an artist as this person is and so on.  Such patterns of thinking only help create barriers around us preventing us from moving forward with our lives whither they be professional or creative. Such ways of thinking only creates unsurmountable obstacles to overcome that only serves to crush our own drives and confidence in ourselves.  The reality is there will always be people that may appear more successful than you or more talented but if you take a closer look at them you’ll notice something important. 

            Success doesn’t mean making the most money or having the best toys out there.  In the end those are just material items that can make life easier but necessarily more enjoyable.  The deciding reason to whither you are successful or not is whither your happy with your life or not.  Are you happy with the progression you’ve personally made with your career?  Are you happy with your artistic creation?  Were you able to produce what you originally had in mind?  How should I progress to the next level?  These are the questions you should be asking when you wish to judge your level of successfulness.  You should not compare yourself to anyone else but yourself.  Don’t let other people bully you into accepting their views of success or how to gauge your self-worth.

            I’ve done that myself in the past and each time I allowed someone else to accept their views of how my own life was going I regretted it.  Usually it resulted in great life upheavals that I still struggle with to this day.  So what if society views living with your parents as an adult as negative characteristic; doing so allowed me to pay off my student loans and return to school part-time to gain my Bachelors.  I’m not the greatest photographer in the world but I can say with full honesty that I am a better photographer than I was when I started.  So what if my career is not progressing how I would like it; may be it's time to shift my career focus or change careers altogether.  Because of the last two years, I have been able to reflect on what I want to do with my life and explore new alternatives.  I haven’t fully left my original career behind but I am now open to other possibilities on what to do with my life.

            Even time I try to compare myself to those around me all it causes me to do is fall into a deep depression and linger on the choices I’ve made in the path.  Such ways of thinking doesn’t help one move forward with one’s own life but causes them to live in the past and only with regret.  My father has told me more than once that I can only take one day at a time. Only recently have I come to understand that what he meant by that.  I can’t live my life as other think I would.  If I did it would be empty and empty of any meaning.  I can’t control everything that happens but I can control how I view life as a whole.  From now I want to take every event in my life as a chance to learn and grow.  My life is my own and I have to live it in a fashion that makes me happy.  If I kept allowing other people to dictate how I should be living my life than it wouldn’t be my own life but a shadow of someone else’s.  No one should live in anyone’s shadow. 

            Don’t allow other people’s perspective’s on your life decide how you live your live. Judge your successes based on your own defined milestone.  Progress with your life the way your  most comfortable with and enjoy it.  The time is a finite and something that should be consider the most valuable commodity we have.  Shouldn’t we spend the time we have on something we enjoy and make us happy than on something that only satisfies someone else need or wants?

  • Listening to: Audio Book
  • Reading: Enter Player One
  • Watching: Netflix
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: To much grease
  • Drinking: Water, and Coffee
Posted a new journal entry today. Already working on next post.

    Happy New Year’s to everyone.  I hope you enjoyed your New Year's Eve and New Year's Day.  I welcome you here and hope that all of you inspire me to do more with this year than I did the last.  Most people believe the New Year's is a chance for new possibilities and to get start projects that have been putting off for the previous years.  While for me it's a contrary to that way of thinking.  I’ve always thought the new year is just another day.  The only time I take noticed to the day changing is when the workweek ends or when a projects deliverable date is fast approaching. Only as the year comes and past to I realized that measuring time is just depressing and fails to motivate me to carry out anything. This year I want to change how I view time and mark the days off the calendar.


    I have put off working on any of the projects I wanted to perform last year.  I didn’t even complete my Capstone for my Bachelor as I originally predicted. I now need to finish.  I haven’t even keep up with my blog here on Deviant Art as I hoped.  Now on reflections on how I spent my time last year I rethink of off my goals and hopes I once had.  I have always been jealous of artists. Web cartoonist, those of working movies and films as gifted individuals they succeeded in their dreams while I have to wait in the background. At times, I’ve thought I could only hope for the possibility of carrying out what I dreamed of.  Now I realized how I was measuring my achievements and ambitions have been based on someone else’s perspective of what success should be.  Now I am thinking of what I want to succeed for myself and how would I measure those achievement.

    I now I took some time to consider what I want to carry out during this year, which is 2015.  I’m not making these as new year resolutions just some goals to aim for.  The first goals are to finish my Bachelor and my Capstone project.  I have the basis for the project I just need to set time aside to work on it.  I hope that I will be able to stick to the time line proposed back in my changed proposal. With some hard work I should be able to make up for the month, I procrastinated on it. The rest of March will be dedicated to research the design and produce some preliminary sketches.  I hope to have the design settled in the next the design within 30 days of posting this blog.

    Besides academic goals I also have some creative goals I hope to succeed this year.  After reviewing the number of photos I took last year I see that I haven’t posted as many as I could have or even started editing most of them.    The ones I took during the 2014 yegDnD Fringe series I only edited a few days worth of shots.  I want to change that in 2015.  I want to work on more photography project and start learning how to streamline my post processing process.  I want to start learning Photoshop to starting taking more control of my photos that Lightroom allows.  I have some project in the works that I hope to achieve when the weather improves and may be expand on different type of photography than I have been focusing on. I want to learn more about macro and portrait photography and hope to have some projects to help with this goal. This may involve involving friends to be models or see if I can work some deal with some beginner models or actors to do their head shots or pose for some shoots.

    I do wish to start learning video production and 3-D modeling this year.  Both have interested me for more than a year now and the more movies I watch and seeing the artistic wonders created on the screen the more, I want to learn to do that myself.  I don’t have any ambitions make either of them a new career at this point but hope to be a productive hobby.  3-D modeling is   slowly becoming more predominant in the engineering world as BIM slowly is taking over the designing and drafting process.  Though I will need to learn how to use BIM 3-D modeling programs I also what to learn the more graphic programs out there.  I know this may need me to gain a proper foundation in traditional hand art, which I have starting when I learned manual drafting.  To success in computer graphics, I will have to take time to learn more about traditional art, from painting to simple pencil sketching which is also would be a good stress reliever.

    The video aspect is closely related to my photography practices.  Most DSLRs now have a video recording capacity and majority of them can even record in HD.    Since learning that my 60D can record video I always wanted to try my hand in film production.  I once wanted to be a screenwriter but even started a few scripts, but like most of my larger writing projects, never completed any of them. Now I want to try my hand at it again and expand into film production. Do I see this progressing to anything more than a simple hobby that if everything works may only be an active YouTube with a handful of subscribers?  The simple answer is “no.”  Though I do plan to treat this hobby in a professional manner there is still a huge learning curve ahead of me and I do have other interests.  Does some of my other interest intersect with this one?  In someways they do.  What I am learning about lighting can be applied to film production and 3-D animation. 3-D production can be a useful tool for some film productions. However,  that isn’t why I don’t think it will progress beyond a hobby that I am passionate about. 

    Don’t get me wrong if by integrating all my hobbies and passion into something that I can make a career out of I may make the leap.  However, to be truthful I cannot see that happening anytime soon.  There is much I need to learn just so I have the basics down before I even consider taking it to a professional level.  It may take another ten years just to master the simple basics and I am already into the career my educational background reflects.  I also don’t see myself being able to get to a level where I can create a stable line of income from doing such productions.  I know there have been people that started out as simple hobbyist whom been able to turn their passions into a stable career.  Their stories have been inspirational ones and proves it can be done but I like to take a sensible perspective to life.  I am in my mid 30s who haven’t embrace his creative side since failing a Professional Writing program back when I was in my 20s.  It will take at least a few years to revive my dwindled creative spark to a flame.

    That is why the only true goal of this year is to finish my Bachelors since I already invested over six years of my life to it and just want it done.  For my creative goals or efforts, I only want to start the process and become more active in them.  It means learning the basics on my free time while making sure I don’t become one of those mad creative hermits in their basement.  Always working away at their little project but never having anything to show for their work.  I know it may take several years to produce something that I would like to present something to the public.  The goal is not mastering all the skills I need but taking the first step towards my goals, just taking it one-step at a time as it were. So this is what I am planning to do for the rest of 2015.  What do you have planned?

     

  • Mood: Optimism
  • Listening to: Dragon Age Sound Track
  • Reading: Enter Player One
  • Watching: Transformers RID 2015
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: To much grease
  • Drinking: Water, and Coffee

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:iconhellbat:
hellbat Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2015
Thanks for the fave.
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:iconlehira-rutherford:
Lehira-Rutherford Featured By Owner Mar 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much for the favorite!
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:iconpixerke:
Pixerke Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
thanks for the +fav
have a1up llama 
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:iconheidik1:
HeidiK1 Featured By Owner Mar 15, 2015
Hello, thank you for the :+fav: 

and sorry for the late answer.  :)
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:iconfotografka:
fotografka Featured By Owner Mar 14, 2015  Hobbyist Photographer
Thank you so much for :iconfavbomb-plz::huggle:

I want to invite you to like my facebook fanpage :facebook: if you can: www.facebook.com/pages/Anna-Ph… :typerhappy:

I'm very sorry for the late thank you, but when I went to college (law) I have completely no time for anything. I hope you understand :)
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